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Dianne Ruth, PhD.
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Personal Growth & Prosperity Coaching /
Short-Term Holistic Counseling
DOES PERSONAL GROWTH and PROSPERITY COACHING/ HOLISTIC COUNSELING
BY PHONE REALLY WORK?
How would you like 100 percent of my unconditional support, love,
acceptance, and attention while you tell me about yourself, your concerns,
your dreams, your hopes, and your goals? This type of concentration is more
available by phone because there are not the kinds of visual distractions
usually present during an in-person meeting.
It has been said that 97 percent of all communication is
non-verbal.
Albert
Mehrabian, in his comprehensive research on communication found that in a
face-to-face encounter, seven percent of a verbal message comes from the
words used; 38 percent is from the vocal tone, pacing, and inflection;
55 percent of the message is reflected by the speaker’s appearance and
body language.
That translates into 45 percent or
almost half of all
communication is accomplished without any visual input at all.
Have you ever been surprised as to how much a blind person can tell about
another individual? It can be absolutely astonishing! Their
hearing, acuity or keenness, and perception have usually become extremely
fine-tuned.
I maintain that most of the 55 percent that is visual can be
figured out by paying close attention to what is really heard.
I’ve had people worry that doing sessions by phone would
limit communication because you couldn’t see the other person. In fact,
a whole wealth of information about a person can often be deduced through
the phone alone. 
How a person may be dressed,
for example, ultra casual to
corporate/professional, their emotional state, level of alertness and
attentiveness are just a few of the characteristics that can be determined
about a person over the phone.
Body language would simply be another
dimension of communication that can be assumed from all the other
non-verbal signals.
The energy in a person's voice
tells me a lot. The more
energy, the more “up” a person is often feeling.
There is a whole
continuum or voice range which can reflect a person’s sense of
well-being.
Voice tempo, pitch, and forcefulness of tone can also give me
clues as to a person’s emotional status. Examples include telling me if
the person is feeling anxious, panicky, or in pain, whether they feel shy
or confident, excited or calm, whether they are angry, scared or feeling
overwhelmed. A pleasant sounding voice can reflect a smiling face.
I can tell a lot about how a person is breathing from his or
her voice patterns and strength of tone. The breath and emotions are
directly related.
For example, when an individual is trying to stuff their
feelings, their breathing tends to be shallower, their talking style gets
a little flatter, words are more clipped, and there is more tension in the
voice.
Alternately, when a person is thrilled, the breathing will be
quicker and stronger, the voice will be more animated, and breathing will
be more rapid.
Here is an illustration. Suzy is speaking a little more
quickly than usual—she has a slightly higher pitch to her voice, and I
can almost hear the suppressed laughter between the lines,
“. . . you’re sounding really excited about something today,
Suzy, . . . is
there something special going on?”
If a person is speaking more slowly than usual, with a
lowered, low energy, quieter voice, he, or she may be sad, tired, or
depressed. That person could be visualized as slouched, eyes looking down,
with disheveled clothing and possibly neglected grooming.
On the other hand, the person may simply be in a contemplative mood. That
is why
sharing my perceptions with the client can keep that channel of
communication fully open.
Listening for word choices can also provide me with
streamlined knowledge for creating better communication and rapport.
People initially process information through their visual (what they see),
auditory (what they hear), and kinesthetic (what they are
feeling/touching/tasting/smelling) senses.
We use all of our senses to reach an
understanding or conclusion; however, one of the above modes will usually
predominate.
In the case of modes of processing, some people are mostly
visual; some are mostly auditory, and some are mostly kinesthetic.
VISUAL
A
visual person will make mental pictures and images of the
conversation;
they will also use lots of visual words such as . . . it appears . . .
let me clarify
. . . I want to focus on . . . the outlook is . . . picture
this . . . my view of . . . and so on.
Photo courtesy of Judie
Keys
AUDITORY
An auditory person will tune into the words being used; they will use lots of auditory words such as
. . . let me
amplify . . . I hear you . . . listen . . . that rings true . . . I
like the sound of that . . . that clicks . . . , etc.
KINESTHETIC
A kinesthetic person will be more in touch with what they are
feeling in response to the conversation. They use lots of concrete words
such as . . . let’s hammer out this idea . . . I’m in a squeeze . . .
tap into this
. . . very touching . . .
get a grasp . . . let’s hit it . . . that’s a sharp idea . . . ,
and so forth.
Giving feedback to the client as to my impressions, and receiving
clarification and verification from the person, can give me more meaning
and understanding as to what I am actually noticing. In addition, the
client can also share his or her impressions and ask questions of me!
Everybody picks up and deduces an amazing amount of information about a
person over the phone. You do the same thing only it is usually at a more
unconscious or subconscious level.
A trained professional is not only aware of all these various features; he
or she is able to identify emotional and cognitive/thinking patterns which
serve as a guide for formulating insightful questions, and for offering
effective holistic counseling, personal growth and prosperity coaching, help, and guidance.
Often, clients report that they
find it easier to talk about more personal problems over the phone.
When they are in a face-to-face session, they sometimes tend to feel too
embarrassed to bring up and discuss whatever is troubling them.
Feeling intimidated by the holistic counselor or personal growth and
prosperity coach when working in-person, is
another issue some clients struggle with. Starting with our mothers and
fathers, we are taught to be fearful of adults from the time we are
toddlers, especially adults in authority.
This can include parents, teachers, police officers, bosses, and so on.
Unfortunately, this fear can continue into adulthood creating huge
emotional blocks that stop a person from moving ahead.
When talking on the phone, the
client can often more easily resolve this fear without having to
experience it with their holistic counselor or personal growth and
prosperity coach. In other words, your
holistic counselor or personal growth and prosperity coach can be perceived more as an ally or friend that can
help you, rather than as an authority figure to be feared.
So, is phone communication
effective? You bet!
;o)
Traditional psychotherapy only
has a 20 percent success rate. I have a 92 percent success rate, and
over 33 years experience.

How to Create Sacred Space for Your Phone Sessions
Telecoaching/Telecounsling vs In Office
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lifestyles from the gay, lesbian, bisexual, questioning, trans-, BD/SM,
fetish, swinging, and other communities including individuals from the
industry of sex workers.

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